Kodi
Kodi, my boyfriend’s dog, is sleeping in a plush doggy bed on the floor. I am under the covers in my own warm bed, tired and groggy from a long weekend of traveling. Just a moment ago I shined the light from my laptop on Kodi and saw that he had changed positions. He must have moved so quietly I didn’t notice.
These days it feels like I can’t make a single move without second guessing my decision. Or before I make a move, I consider every outcome, worry over the potential consequences, and exhaust the advice of friends and family.
And then there is Kodi, who doesn’t question anything. Not himself, not me, not you. He eats when he wants, sleeps when he wants, and he knows who he loves. And if he loves you, that love lasts forever. Even if you poke him in the eye by accident or smack him on the butt when he pees on the rug.
In an interview with the Paris Review, James Wright said, “I wish I could be a chickadee. But I can’t be a chickadee. All I can be is what I am.”
I wish I could be a chickadee, too, or a dog, for that matter. But I can’t. All I can be is what I am, and that means I have to deal with complicated realities and difficult decisions.
It’s not easy. But thank goodness there are dogs in the world to love us through all of our decisions, whether unfortunate or triumphant or entirely inconsequential.
Thank goodness for that.
Post Notes
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